


Sewn

by ArgentNoelle



Category: Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mouth Sewn Shut, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:05:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1429636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentNoelle/pseuds/ArgentNoelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is, Loki is terrified.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sewn

He thinks he’s screaming. Curled up as far as he can go he can feel Thor’s strong arms holding him up, trembling. Somebody is trembling. All of it—the crowd, the pain—it’s gone, because he’s trapped, drowning. Fingers reaching wildly to his mouth with blunt nails ripping but Thor has his hand he can’t _reach_ he can’t move trapped his tongue sits thick and _he can’t open his mouth_ even the dwarves don’t matter anymore smugly staring he had felt a coldness move through him when they stated their loophole, their way out. (Better than dying, isn’t it?) He knew it was. He knew, and he had walked down proud and composed while inside he felt sick in his stomach and the noises stopped he could hardly put one foot in front of the other as though they had stopped obeying him _come on_.

He went. Felt grateful for Thor there in the small, far-off part of his mind that was not filled with white screaming numbness. Knew he would run otherwise.

And the pain was fine. Horrible, yes; it brought tears to his eyes but he focused on his clenched hands as they pushed the awl through his lips and as long as he didn’t think he could pretend—and he couldn’t think, because the pain washed away thought red-hot. But. But then the thread came, pulled around and soon the side of his lips touched and then more and he thought he was screaming but it could be anyone.

_He couldn’t open his mouth_. Panic; tears rolling down his face and he’s making a scene, he can picture the way they must be laughing, pointing at the trickster but oh it doesn’t matter now. Not yet. It will matter later but now he reaches kicking wildly trying to claw out the thick thread but can’t touch it even Thor is holding his arms.

“Shhh,” he says. “Shhh, Loki, it’s all right.”

He has been speaking before, but it is only now that Loki hears him. Keeps on holding him until his strength is gone because it is only then that he will stop struggling. And the crowd—but there is no crowd. Not anymore. The sun has moved, hovering above the edge of the world, about to dip down and let the stars come out. They are alone.

The white numbness is still there. He’s trembling, shivering, still trying to reach his face but Thor’s hands are gentle now about his wrists. “Loki.” He moves over, meets his eyes. “Loki, get a knife. Use a knife.”

A knife. Of course. And he starts to say _a knife_ but the word is smothered inside his mouth _he can’t open his mouth_ trapped.

“Loki.”

He nods. A knife. Yes.

But they stay kneeling upon the ground for some time. The sun leaves them to it, and Thor holds him the way a mother should hold a child, he thinks. He has never been held this way, he thinks.

And the stars come out, and his hands still. He breathes.

It is he that pulls away first. Straightens his clothes, not looking at Thor; and Thor gives him the dignity. Breathes. Thinks to say something—no. No, don’t try—his tongue darts out to taste the bloody thread. He cannot speak. He… no. A knife.

He nods, and Thor returns the gesture.

* * *

It is some time before he comes once more to Asgard. The coming back is foregone; he can never stay away.

His lips have healed with scars.


End file.
